The Fine Art of Loving Yourself
The other day I was talking on the phone and I happened to be in the bathroom looking at the mirror. I leaned over towards the mirror and kissed myself. I was caught for a moment in the rapture of my own beauty. As my lips touched my reflection, I felt aroused. I thought about what my past lovers must see when they leaned in to kiss me. Did they know how lucky they were?!
For some people that may read rather self-absorbed, conceited, or down right stuck up. Well, really IDGAF. I freaking LOVE myself!
I believe to love one’s self in a world where everyone and everything is constantly telling you that you are not enough, is a revolutionary act!
For many years growing up I did not love myself. When I think back to all the times I spent thinking I was not good enough, not attractive enough, and not enough-enough, it almost makes me sad.
I felt awkward for being tall and smart. Once in middle school a boy blasted me as “ugly” in front of the entire 6th grade. I stayed home “sick” for the next few days. As a teenager, I thought if I were light skinned more boys would like me. If only my nose was smaller I would be beautiful.
The journey to falling in love with myself has been a life-long affair and I am intimately committed to myself. If I don’t love me, then how can I expect anyone else to?
I think a lack of self-love is the number hidden issue most adults suffer from. We gorge ourselves on all sorts of things to mask it, sex, food, fancy degrees, but at the end of the day, most still feel empty and unworthy.
Here are 3 simple steps to rev up your self-love engine!
1. Look at yourself as if you are magic. I have taken the lovely Frida Kahlo quote and turned it around. Frida said, “Take a lover who looks at you like maybe you are magic.” Do you look at yourself as if you are magic? Do you know how amazing you are? There is not another human being on Mother Earth that is like you and there never will be. Even if you come back again, in another time and another place, it will be a different and unique you.
For that little sperm to fertilize that little egg, at the exact right moment to create you, was a miracle. You contain all the elements of the Universe. Your body holds the remnants of stars and galactic explosions! Your skin, your hair, your eyes, your laugh, and your talents are a buffet of unique star-studded magic!
2. F—being perfect, be YOU! So many of us chase these false images of perfection. We think we need to “do” or “be” something other than what we are to be worthy of love and abundance. This is false. You don’t need to “do” anything, you are worthy because you are. Your value is intrinsic and not dependent on taking another course, buying a bag or pair of shoes, or getting a man.
Be perfectly you and watch the world swoon at your feet. When you are authentically yourself and shine your light, you give others permission to shine as well. When you stand lovingly accepting ALL of you, you become magnetic and easily attract all that you want and dream of!
3. Engage in acts of self-love regularly. Have you caressed your skin today? Have you gazed in your eyes? Did you listen to the music of your breath? Did you dance in the symphony which is you?
Go look in the mirror and find ten things you love about yourself. Speak them out loud. Do this everyday and shower yourself with the adoration and affection of a perfect soulmate. Mate with your own soul. See your body as shrine and bless it everyday. Feed it good food, kisses and lots of water. What we focus on expands, turn your love and attention toward YOU, and watch all the good things about you expand.
Your relationship with yourself is the longest relationship you will have. Wherever you go, there you are. You cannot escape yourself, so go on ahead and start loving yourself the way you’d expect a lover to love you. Lean in and give your reflection a kiss, feel your magic.
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