Last week seemed to be the week of celebrity splits.
Tia Mowry filed for divorce from husband Cory Hardict after 14 years.
Model Nazanin Mandi filed for divorce from singer Miguel after 3 years.
‘Love is blind’ star Iyanna McNeely filed for divorce from husband Jarrette Jones.
NFL player Tom Brady and wife Gisele Bundchen are looking for divorce lawyers.
While couple breakups and divorces aren’t anything new, these all were announced the same day and sparked a lot of buzz, particularly Tia Mowry’s relationship because the couple had been together for so long.
As I look at these celebrity couples, having no idea of course of what transpired in their relationships, I see that it is the wives who all filed. Did you know that in heterosexual marriages 66% of the time it is the wife that files for divorce?
As a divorced woman myself, I know that decision is never easy especially when children are involved. Deciding to get divorced at the age of 28 to the only man I had ever been with was life changing for me.
That decision was simultaneously the hardest and best decision I ever made. I suspect what happened with these high profile women (and probably the majority of women who are choosing to leave their marriages) is similar to what happened to me.
While it may have appeared on the outside I was breaking up with my husband, I was really breaking up with myself. It was a divorce from the previous version of me that attracted that relationship in the first place.
I am a believer in the concept “Your mate is your mirror.” I believe the partners we attract reflect aspects of ourselves, often these parts are suppressed or subconscious. Our partner comes as a mirror to show us these hidden parts so that they may be healed.
There are relationships where both partners can heal and grow together. Then there are relationships where the container of the relationship can no longer serve one or both parties and it must end.
The latter was true for me. When I divorced my ex-husband I divorced the part of me that was: a people-pleaser, sexually repressed, afraid to go after my passions, stunted in my creativity, and disconnected from my power.
I married my husband at the time because I felt that’s what I was “supposed” to do as a “good girl”. Go to school, get a good job, get married. Viola! Perfect life.
For me that “perfect life” soon felt like a prison. A prison I needed to get out of. I married not as a whole woman, but as a good girl that hoped things outside of her would make her feel complete.
Let me ask you, is there a previous version of yourself you need to break the f-ck up with? Are there things in your life that are hanging around that represent previous versions of you?
If you’d like some support figuring this out I am so excited to announce that from October 25th-27th I am having a Nice For What Challenge?! During these 3 days we will meet live and I will present a different teaching around why we all need to stop playing nice and step into our real power. Then you will take specific actions to transform your life.
Be on the lookout for that link later this week. Until then, Goddess I love you and I want you to BREAK TF UP!
P.S.- For any Goddess who wants to learn more about healing from a breakup or how our partners reflect us, check out my book: Happy and Healed: 5 Steps To Getting Over ANY Man and Finding The Love You Deserve. (I’ve also had women read this and choose to stay in their relationship once they understood how their mate reflected them.)
Lady Shepsa Jones