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How to Hold Your ‘Ish Together When Things Fall Apart!

I wanted to write some juicy pop that punany article this Full Moon. But I can’t front, I got ‘ish popping off instead! Real ‘ish. Family ‘ish. Personal ‘ish. ‘Ish that I can’t write about right now so sorry, you’ll have to wait for the autobio or made for TV movie or maybe a poetic memoir.

In fact, almost everyone I know has something coming up for them, something that triggers deep wounds and patterns. The boogie man is coming out of the closet, the foot steps down the hall are creeping closer, and you’re afraid to look under the bed. Some would say it’s written in the stars, Mercury is in Retrograde and Full Moon energy is on fleek.

Whatever it is you believe or don’t believe, rest assured there will come a time in everyone’s life where “people stop being polite” and things get “real”. So I thought I’d offer you some tips to navigate the rough waters of these times or any time in the future where you feel you might loose your ‘ish.

5 Steps to Walking Like a Goddess When You Want to Loose Your ‘Ish

*Please note nowhere in this article will I be telling you to “smile pretty” and nod your head like everything is ok. I do not advise that “walking like a goddess” means denying what you feel to make everyone else feel comfortable.

1. Feel free to loose your ‘ish. I know that seems contradictory to what this article is about. Sometimes to find yourself, you must loose yourself. Break free of the armor locking in your emotions, the false persona you present to the world. Penetrate yourself deeply and allow what is inside to come out.

It may come out in tears, snotty nose ugly face crying. It may come out in laughter, song, or dance. However your “ish” needs to be freed, let it. Most likely it is in a way where thought does not reign supreme. The mind can be a big obstacle to releasing. Do something that takes you out of your head and let it all go. Loose your mind. Become a big soppy mess and feel the sweet peace of release.

2. Know that ALL is WELL! It really is. Wait, I mean like for real, all is well. There is a divine plan in order and all you need to do is surrender to it. I know in the middle of our ‘ish it can be really hard to feel that we are divinely guided and connected. We may get the “why is this happening to me thought” but trust that everything is unfolding just as it needs to for you to learn what you need to learn.

Through our challenges and the contrast comes our expansion and growth. You want to be thankful for them, something is getting healed within you. Relax and trust that this is a benevolent and loving Universe and that everything you need comes to you exactly when you need it. All is well.

3. Go the path of least resistance. Often when we’re upset or flustered we go into a frenzy of non-productive action. All of our “doing” from a place of anxiety, fear, and worry only produces confusion. Truth is, you can’t force the hand of the Universe. When you push against what is, you only tire yourself out and make what you push against much stronger.

Imagine trying to use your body to make a stonewall move. You thrash around, throwing yourself up against the wall only exhausting yourself, all the while the wall has not budged. You may even hurt yourself in the process. Meanwhile, somewhere along the wall unbeknownst to you is a door. Someone opens it and you easily walk through. Find your door, you don’t have to struggle and push against a stonewall to get what you want. Chill and the most direct and effortless route will appear for you.

4. Allow others to row their own boat. We live in a world where our lives our intrinsically connected with others. We all are apart of the collective whole having our experience on this playground called Earth. However, while we all may be sailing in the same ocean, we get to be captain of our own boat. You get a boat! You get a boat! Everybody gets a boat! Allow folks to row their own boat. Stop trying to control what other people do.
It may look crazy to you, they may even be harming themselves, but guess what? They are the captain of their ship. We cannot force others to follow our direction no matter how crazy, idiotic, or even harmful their choices may appear to be. Release control. Trust that everyone is doing the best they can with what they know. Cruise your ship, wish the other boats well and keep it moving.

5. Feel the labor pains, birth the beautiful baby. If there is one thing giving birth to my son has taught me, something very beautiful can come out of an experience that seems so painful or uncomfortable that you can barely stand it. Breathe through the discomfort, laugh in the middle of the chaos, and hold the vision of what you want.
The deeper I go to the depths, to the belly of my pain, the higher I spring back up into the ecstasy of relief. And of course this doesn’t mean that you always need to have these soul clawing experiences to be in ecstasy, but every now and then life calls us to go a little deeper. We get to utilize all the tools we have learned to keep our boat a float.

When the relief comes, when our vision gets fulfilled, and our baby is born, it is exquisitely beautiful. The labor pains are just a small sacrifice for what we receive in return. At the end, you will have a story to tell and something beautiful to show for it.

I’d like to close with the words of Rumi, because dancing and Rumi makes everything better.

“Dance, when you’re broken open. Dance, if you’ve torn the bandage off. Dance in the middle of the fighting. Dance in your blood. Dance when you’re perfectly free.”
~ Rumi

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