I tried to ignore it but it wouldn’t go away. It was a fire that started as a little matchbox spark, I looked away from it to pretend it wasn’t there. Every time I looked away it got larger and larger until it was a bonfire. Then I was forced to look at it, it was too engulfing to ignore.
I was consumed by the fire of my anger, sparked by the match of my sadness. The only way to put the fire out was to let it burn.
There is an intelligence behind our emotions that if we ignore, only gets stronger.
When I first began my spiritual journey, I was taught that emotions were the enemy. The goal of life was to strive to be at peace no matter what, and that when we identified with our emotions, we disconnected from our divinity. Hogwash! What a masculine point of view.
While I agree that our nature is peace, the way of the feminine is to FEEL. Our emotions are one of our superpowers.
As feminine beings we are closer to the element of water, which makes us closer to our emotions. This is not accidental. Being more connected to our emotions that flow and crash like water, makes us more sensitive to insights, inspirations and intuitions. We are doorways and the more we feel, the more we open to connect to spirit.
The only way out is through, so rather than squelching emotions or putting on a mask of “my nature is peace”, I find it to be a much more powerful practice to let myself feel what I feel.
As women, when we cut ourselves off from our emotions in favor of being more “rational” or “logical”, we cut off the flow of feminine energy. We cut ourselves off from our inner guru, the womb. Our wombs, both physically and spiritually, are how we give birth. We must feel what we do want and what we don’t want to birth our desires.
Sometimes our emotions just want to be acknowledged, like, “Hey look over here! I’m hurting. Do you see me?”.
Recently, I had been trying to ignore my emotions. Mostly because what I was upset about was something I thought I should be “over” by now. In fact, I was feeling quite over it and then I was triggered and the old wound became re-exposed. Anger and sadness came to sit on my chest like, “Yeah, we are still here. Whatcha gonna do?”
Rather than trying to beat them upside the head with my sword of peace, or push them into a closet of denial, I decided to welcome them. I made anger some tea. I ran a bath for sadness and let her cry.
Then I burned some shit. Literally, wrote down what I wanted to release and burned it the fuck up.
I’m starting to feel better.
There is an intelligence behind our emotions. When we feel sad, we open to release what we no longer need and become more keenly aware of what we do want. When we feel angry, it is often because a boundary has been violated.
When you feel sad, ask yourself what is it you truly want? Do you believe that you can have it?
When you feel angry, ask yourself what was the boundary that was crossed? How can you be truthful and honest about what you really want without sacrificing yourself?
Is there an emotion that you feel that you’ve been trying to ignore?
I invite you to allow yourself to feel what you feel without making yourself bad and wrong. I also invite you to allow yourself to feel what you feel without making anyone else bad and wrong.
Seems confusing but it is true. You have the power to be complex, accept what you feel without making another person a culprit or yourself.
Above all, love YOU unconditionally and be gentle with yourself. When we acknowledge emotions like anger and sadness, when they have their say, happiness will soon come skipping through the door throwing her glitter.
Stay connected to your emotions, it is one of your superpowers.
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