5 Ways to Stop Accepting Less Than You Deserve
I have made a commitment in 2016. A commitment to myself, I will stop accepting less than I deserve. No longer will thoughts of lack, pangs of desperation, or a poverty mindset coerce me to welcome what is beneath me. This applies to love, business, finances, health, and friendship.
Will you take my hand and join me in this for 2016? Will you turn up with me and see how freaking amazing our life becomes when we treat ourselves like 5 star dining instead of budget gourmet?
Great, I knew you’d be down! I made a list and I’d love to share it with you,
5 Ways to Stop Accepting Less Than You Deserve
1. Know Your Value. This really could be the only rule. Know your value, know your worth. As babies we are born with intrinsic value, we come here with all of our potential packed inside of us like a seed. Then life happens and we begin to doubt our worth. We get put into a box stamped with a label that binds our potential. You’re called poor, ugly, too Black, fat, too skinny, dumb, too smart, too short, born into the wrong family, or wrong part of the world. We begin to doubt our capabilities and get into a constant battle of seeking external validation to realize our value.
This stops now.
You are worthy for no other reason that YOU ARE. Stop trying to prove yourself and convince others to give you their time, love and money. Be like the sun, the sun just is. It shines, it radiates and it doesn’t ask permission. The sun knows it purpose and fulfills it everyday. Even when clouds get in the way, the sun is still beaming. It knows the clouds will move eventually. Know your value, even if others don’t. Shine on anyway.
2. Clarify your desires. What do you want? There are a lot of jokes made around guys’ frustration with asking a woman what she wants to eat. The idea is that women take a long time to make up their minds, or just don’t know. While there may be some exaggeration, I think many women have allowed life to dull their desires.
A simple question, “What do you want?” , can startle some of us who have been taught that we cannot have our desires, or that our desires are unimportant. Reconnect to your desires, feel them and embody them. Say what it is that you want and be honest. Don’t try to be “nice”, don’t try to save someone’s ego. When you become clear on what you desire, your desires will begin to show up.
3. Check other people. Now that you know your value and you’ve become clear on what you want, you must uphold the standard. What is acceptable to you and what is not? You must decide. Some things you may want to practice saying…
No, I cannot do that for free…
You did a no-call, no-show? No, we cannot go out again.
It hurts my feelings when you…
I have raised my rates…
This ________ is not acceptable to me.
People only do what you allow them to do. This doesn’t mean that you have to go around taking heads for any perceived slight, but speak up and honor the standard you set for yourself.
4. Check yourself. Time to look in the mirror. In what ways do you shortchange yourself? After all, the people around us often reflect our own subconscious beliefs and behaviors. Notice yourself talk. Do you often berate and tear yourself down? If somebody else were to talk to us the way we talk to ourselves, we would not stand for it. Sometimes the most terrifying abuser is the one within.
Treat yourself with loving kindness and be gentle with yourself, while at the same time holding yourself up to the magnificent standard you deserve. If you notice that you are “settling” or being dishonest about what you really want, check yourself. Become that girlfriend in your head who yells, “Oh hell naw!” at an injustice.
5. Allow the good. When you raise the standard and believe you deserve it, you will see an avalanche of good unfold for you. Sometimes this can be scary. When what we want shows up, we may find ourself pushing it away, or self-sabotaging our success because we still have little pockets of unworthiness that need to be healed.
The best thing to do is to wake up in the moment. Realize that you may be pushing away what you’ve been asking for. Recognize the good that is now showing up and be thankful for it. You deserve it dear goddess. Use inspirational quotes and affirmations to help change your thinking.
Here’s an excerpt from a longer manifesto I created,
I am a goddess.
I deserve the fucking best!
From this point on I refuse to settle for a mediocre life, an unfulfilling relationship, depleted finances, stagnant career and inferior health.
I welcome into my life NOW more good than I could ever imagine!
And so it is!
It is my pleasure dear goddess to share these tools with you, if you are really looking to quantum leap your progress in 2016, I invite you to check out my New Year Goddess Makeover Coaching Package. For a limited time I am accepting private coaching clients.
Click below for more info on how you can get ALL that you deserve in 2016!
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