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How to Use Oh!gasm to Heal Your Heart

December 24, 2019

Your lover left you and you’re heartbroken. Maybe your relationship is on the rocks. On top of that your boss is cray. Kids acting up, won’t listen. You feel hurt, tight with tension and little space to breathe. Sometimes you find a little peace in the bottom of that Talenti container (who makes that stuff?! It’s smack!). But the peace is short lived. You lie in your bed and you feel the pain peaking from behind the curtains of your heart. It burns, it cuts deep. Shit…

When you’re on the downswing of a breakup, or feeling flat lined by stress, it can be hard to see the light at the end of tunnel. You may have visions of throwing in the towel, or busting the windows out of your ex-lover’s car, but trust me, you don’t have to go out like that. There is a way to rise with joy like the sexy phoenix you are! You can heal your heart through orgasm.

This is not going to be a “get-over-one-man-by-getting-under-another” article. The orgasmic healing I am speaking of can be done by yourself (though if you are blessed with a sensual healer in your life, open to receive it).

When we experience something as traumatic as heartbreak, we are able to touch a rawness, a vulnerability that not too many other things can bring out of us. We are forced to face our emotional depths, swim the ocean that threatens to drown us. Sometimes we need to surf these waters alone. I’d like to offer you a life jacket as you go through your healing, the big “Oh!”

Now heartbreak and orgasm may seem like a weird combination, but it really isn’t. There is a connection between our heart and our wombs, the relationship is reciprocal. While our heart gives, our yonis receive. The heart/breast to womb/yoni connection is very powerful. Breastfeeding after childbirth helps our uterus shrink back to normal size. Manipulation of the breast and nipples sparks sexual arousal and the secretion of juices in the yoni (sankrit for vagina meaning divine passage).

But behind the physical connection, there is a spiritual connection. The womb helps to clear the energetic debris of the heart, whatever happens to our heart, happens to our womb. When we don’t deal with issues of the heart, it will find it’s way to our womb. It may surface as a heavy and painful menstrual cycle, or if neglected over time, diseases like fibroids. When our womb is sick, our hearts are blocked. Our inner creatrix is handicapped.

Our wombs are our inner gurus, she has the wisdom to birth physically and spiritually. As women, our wombs are our centers of power, not only to birth a baby, but to birth ourselves.

When you work with the energy of orgasm to heal the heart and clear the womb, you send ripples of divine self-love throughout your body. This love will penetrate through layers of pain and sadness, the orgasmic release will send tremors throughout your yoni and your heart, allowing deep relaxation and letting go.

Steps to Orgasmic Heart Healing

  1. Take a nice loooong hot shower or bath. I prefer bath. If you take the time to bathe, you can use delicious things in the water like coconut milk and honey. Massage yourself in the water. Allow tears to come if need be.
  1. Once finished bathing light a candle. Choose a color that reflects your objective. Blue is good for healing, white for peace, or pink for love. Allow your intuition to guide you. You can also light a sweet smelling incense. I like jasmine or sandalwood (can also burn candles and incense while in bath).
  1. With your atmosphere set, take a luxurious massage oil. Coconut oil is my favorite right now. Take the time and massage your entire body from head to toe. Tell yourself how much you love yourself.
  1. Lie down on your bed. Massage your breasts. The breasts are the wings of the heart. Allow yourself to feel the sweetness of the your hands sliding across your breasts and notice how it awakens your yoni.
  1. Next, you are going to massage your yoni. Take your time and give her the gentle care you’d desire from an ideal lover. Allow the feelings of pleasure to open you up.
  1. With your heart and yoni center both aroused and awakened, you’re going to place your right hand on your heart, and your left hand on your yoni. Our right hand gives energy while the left hand receives it. Feel the orgasmic energy flow from the yoni to the heart. You can also reverse it, placing the left hand on the heart and right hand on your womb space. Send the love of the heart there.
  1. Now you will have a full self-pleasure session. Engage in whatever imagery you need to see to bring yourself to full arousal. Allow your imagination and fantasy to be your playground. Be free and don’t judge yourself, do what feels good.
  1. While you are self-pleasuring, pause from time to time and just breathe. Place your right hand on your heart and left hand on your yoni. Breathe the orgasmic energy up to your heart. Imagine pink energy going into the heart and clearing out the sadness, anger and pain. You can also breathe this energy through your entire body, allow it to sweep your cells clean of negativity.
  1. When you are ready to climax, allow the orgasm to ripple out through your entire being. Imagine it as a shower of light bathing you and washing you anew. Notice how you feel.
  1. Have a good rest and use this process whenever the heart feels blocked or overcome with pain.

For more steps on healing from heartbreak, check out my latest book:

Happy and Healed Five Steps to Getting Over ANY Man and Finding the Love Your Deserve available now on Amazon! Click below!


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  1. Always loved the way my husband could arouse me by touch but he passed away March of this year since then it’s not the same without him & his sensitivity to my feelings when we made love…I truly miss our connection…he would say we were souls mates????????❤️

  2. My condolences Ellen. You were blessed to find someone with whom you had that connection, some people never experience that. Allow yourself to explore making love to yourself as a way of healing.

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